“We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the love we’re not extending in the present.”
We’ve all been there—feeling lonely, unloved, unwanted. Not only those of us with a history of neglect and abuse, but all of us. We’ve all been injured by rejection and ostracism.
We all have scars from the love we didn’t receive once upon a time.
But do you treat your scars like scars? Do you treat them like past pains that you’ve taken lessons from? Or, do you still feel the neglect, the abuse, the pain, even though the ones that hurt you are no longer around?
This is the most common source of love deprivation—thoughts of the past.
In love deprivation, I have been unloved by others in the past, so I close to love in the present. I did not receive once upon a time, so I will not allow myself to receive now.
The truth is—to feel that nobody loves me is to admit, first and foremost, that I do not love myself.
To tell you that you do not love me is to remind myself that I am not giving love to myself, nor to you.
To say “I feel unloved” is to say “I am afraid of opening up to being hurt.”
As a result of closing myself off, I stop receiving and stop giving. I starve myself of love like someone with anorexia starves herself of food.
The fear that was once a useful defense mechanism eats us alive and keeps us from each other, from ourselves.
And we try to break out of this horrible, isolated loveless prison, but our thoughts say, “If only you give me love, I’ll get out of here”. Thousands of people begging and pleading to be released out of a prison cell that is not locked.
Love is always within reach. And no one needs to give it to you.
The degree to which you believe yourself to be deserving of love is the same degree to which you will believe others to be deserving of your love. To act out of unconditional love towards another will free you from the prison of your fear.
The only one you’re waiting for is yourself.