“Once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
~The Velveteen Rabbit
I tried so hard and for so long to be beautiful. I really did. Somehow, even those moments of confident self-confidence did not make up for the correlated weeks of disgusted self-loathing.
Someone very wise once told me that, when people get stuck, they resist the realization that they’re doing the wrong things, but they welcome the idea that they’re not doing enough of what they’re already doing.
So I would spend more money, more time, more brain space on trying to be beautiful.
In the end, my search for beauty was nothing short of an addiction. The periods of suffering got longer as the periods of self-confidence got shorter and less powerful. My thoughts became almost entirely devoted to thoughts of inadequacy. I couldn’t hear compliments. I could only hear words that proved that I was, in fact, ugly. I could see nothing beyond my sick, desperate need to become beautiful.
If you would have told my previous self that she could feel beautiful by throwing away her makeup, she would have laughed in your face. If you’d have told her that masks can be ugly, while real human beings cannot, she’d have walked away.
We’re taught that beauty is something we have to earn by buying things. Some people curse the beauty companies for manipulating of our minds.
I think, more important than cursing those who seek to make you feel ugly, the most important thing is to understand why beauty products sell. They sell you back to yourself. They sell you beauty because you have an innate desire to feel beautiful. You have that desire because you already are beautiful.
The desire to be beautiful is, simply, the desire to be yourself.
I challenge you, if you have ever struggled with beauty, to go out today and really put your beauty beliefs to the test. I challenge you to take a look at everything else in nature—clouds, birds, trees. Are they ugly? Can they be?
I challenge you to seek beauty in everything and everyone around you, to keep looking until you find it and to then seek it in yourself. The ability to see beauty in everything is the only way to see beauty in yourself, to love yourself as you are.
And seeing the beauty that is already inherent within you—that’s the only way that beauty becomes more than a painful addiction and transforms into a cultivated awareness, a lens for the present moment, a way of life.
What will you do to find more beauty in yourself and in the world today?